


For You

by prideinlou



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 1d, Bottomlouis, M/M, Sad, Topharry, characterdeath, harrystyles, louisbottoms, louistomlinson - Freeform, onedirection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:02:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28074393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prideinlou/pseuds/prideinlou
Summary: Losing the one you love is the hardest thing, especially when they gave up their own life just so you can continue living yours.A Larry Stylinson one-shot where one gave his life up so the other could keep on living.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	For You

_Losing the one you love is the hardest thing, especially when they gave up their own life just so you can continue living yours._

_Would you ever give up your life to save someone else?_

—♡—

The steady beep of the heart monitor echoed through the cramped, magnolia painted room, various pictures of landscapes were arranged on the walls, and bouquets of brightly colored flowers were placed in clear vases on the tiny side-table. Multiple balloons were floating upon the tiled ceiling, slightly swaying from the light breeze taking over the narrow room from the small opened window.

He cautiously sat up in the stiff, lumpy bed, rubbing his pounding head as his tired eyes adjusted themselves to the abrasive light engulfing the room. His nose crinkled at the nauseating smell of antiseptics, with a slight undertone of bleach.

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and carefully turned his body, whining high in his throat when the sharp pain shot its way up his spine. He whimpered, biting his lip hard as he struggled to stand up, tears welling in his eyes at the overwhelming feeling. He tugged at the IV attached to his tattooed arm, wincing when it left his bruised skin.

_Where am I?_ He thought, biting his lip once again as the excruciating pain once again made its way through his body. He cried out, tears pouring from his usually bright eyes, now bloodshot, as he attempted to walk, only to realize that his right leg is covered by a stiff, light blue cast.

"Sir, please lay back down," A calm voice spoke from somewhere in front of him. He looked up and was agreed by the sight of a petite woman, dressed in navy blue scrubs, holding a clipboard, with a stethoscope around her neck.

"Why am I here? Where is my boyfriend?" He cried, his voice coming out extremely hoarse. With his arms and legs shaking, he reached out and grabbed onto the guardrail, so tightly that his bruised knuckles turned a pale white.

"Sir, I need you to calm down, alright? I'll explain everything once you settle down. Breathe in and out for me, okay? Everything is okay," the nurse spoke in a soothing voice.

Just then, another woman stepped into the doorway: bloodshot eyes, cheeks red and puffy, her long brown hair askew, and her once lipstick covered lips bitten a deep red. "Baby!" She choked out and ran over to her son and pulled him into the motherly warmth of her arms, slightly swaying. He completely broke down, sobbing into her shoulder, his eyes squeezed shut.

"Mummy," he whimpered, taking a shaky breath. "What's wrong? Where is h-he? Mum, where is he? Is he okay?"

—♡—

He huffed, turning his pounding head to look out the window of their car, resting his elbow against the door panel, slight stubble covered chin settled on the palm of his hand. The slight breeze coming through the open window blowing lightly through his hair; he shut his eyes, allowing his tense body to relax as the cool air took over him.

"Why do you have to be such an ass?"

"Leave me alone, Louis, I have no desire to talk to you right now," he whispered, using all his might to not raise his voice at his boyfriend.

"Don't give me that shit, Harry, you started it and now I'm going to finish it," Louis mumbled, starring straight ahead as he drove down the busy London streets, dainty hands tightly gripping the steering wheel, causing his knuckles to turn a shade of white.

"Can you not fucking grasp 'leave me alone'? I know you only understand at a second-grade level, but those three words are not that complex, darling," Harry sneered, whipping his head back toward Louis, his piercing green eyes narrowed.

"Oh fuck off, Harry! You are such an asshat!"

" _Me_? An asshat? I'm not the one who spends all of our- wait, I mean _my,_ money on stupid shit! I work for a living and all you do is sit at home, on the couch _I_ brought for us, and do absolutely fucking nothing but play FIFA!"

"You _always_ use that every fucking time we fight, Harry. I'm not the one who dropped out of uni!"

"Just shut the fuck up, Louis, just fucking quit it, okay? I'm done talking to you," Harry spoke, his anger filled tone still clear as day, as he once again turned away.

"I hate you, Harry."

"Oh really? Is that so? You definitely weren't saying that last night," Harry taunted with a smirk, clearing his throat. " _'Oh, Harry! I love you so much, oh fuck, so, so much. Fuck. Feels so good!'_ " Harry moaned mockingly, crossing his arms over his broad chest and cocking his head to the side.

Louis' cheeks turned a deep crimson, jaw twitching in aggregation. He exhaling angrily from his nose, but did not take his eyes off the road in front of him. It began to rain, resulting in the boy flicking on the windshield wipers. "Shut the fuck up, Harry."

"Oh, so _now_ you're playing that card, huh? Got no sassy retort? No sarcastic reply, huh, babe?"

When Louis did not react, Harry grinned and leaned back against the leather car seat, shutting his eyes once more.

Silence. Nothing other than the quiet whistle of wind from cars speeding past them on the crowded highway. But soon, the eerie, awkward silence was broken by a small gasp.

"Harry," Louis whispered, rapidly slamming his foot onto the brake petal. "Harry," he then repeated louder, slightly turning his head to look at him.

"Fuck off, Louis."

"Harry, your, um, your door is open a bit, could you please close it fully?" Louis swallowed thickly, tears brimming in the corners of his blue eyes. He repeatedly licked his lips, trying to calm himself down so he didn't scare Harry.

Harry snorted and rolled his eyes, sitting up straight and turning to go as he was asked, slightly opening the passenger side door, the strong wind whipping the door open fully. "Fucking hell, pull over!" He said, trying to grip the door handle, not yet realizing Louis reaching over to unbuckle his seat belt.

"Louis, what the fuck?" Harry asked nervously when Louis didn't reply, noticing his seat belt was now undone. He turned his body toward the smaller boy, who is now visibly shaking, while still tightly gripping the door handle, trying to fight the wind and the now pouring rain to pull the car door closed.

"Jump!" Louis shouted, honking the car horn over and over again, struggling to unbuckle his seat belt, choking out a broken sob when he realized it was stuck. "I love you so much, Harry."

A bloodcurdling scream, the acrid smell of burning rubber, and a fist of clouding gray smoke.

All at once, everything went black.

—♡—

"Where is Louis?" He sobbed, trying to stand back up, but his body was too weak to leave her arms. "Mum, where is Louis? Where the fuck is he?" He cried out. "Louis!" He screamed, "Louis!"

Anne held Harry closer, rubbing his back gently. "My baby," She whispered, wiping his tears. "I'm so sorry."

"Just fucking tell me where he is!" Harry demanded, finding the strength to stand up.

"Sir! Sir, you need to stop moving, please calm down and let me help you into the bed. Please, sir." The nurse spoke again, moving closer to the tall man slightly.

"My baby... I'm so sorry. Something happened with his breaks, with the rain and the old car... they don't know yet. He... his seatbelt was stuck, he couldn't get out of it before the crash. I'm so, so sorry dear. He didn't make it." She said softly, watching as her son's whole world fell apart in front of her.

Harry's knees gave out completely and he crashed to the floor, letting out a loud cry. "No, no, _no._ " He broke completely, unable to hold back his emotions. He could taste blood in his mouth as his throat closed up, struggling to breathe. He felt his entire body shutting down at the news. Louis, the love of his life, is gone. It can't be real, it can't. She's lying, he's okay. Louis' _okay_.

"No," He whimpered, glancing up at his mother, tear stains running down his bruised face. "Not my baby," He croaked. He grabbed onto the guardrail and pulled himself up. "I need to see him, he's okay, I know it, he wouldn't leave me."

"Sir-"

"Fuck off!" Harry screamed, tightening his grip on the cold metal to keep himself steady. His heart started to race and his vision turned blurry.

_"I love you so much_ _, Harry_ _."_

"The last thing-I-we- we were fighting... I-I _yelled_ at him and he's gone. No, no. My baby, my sweet baby. I love him so much. I didn't tell him, I didn't tell him I love him."

"Harry... he knew. He knew you loved him."

_Knew_. Love _d_.

"I _love_ him, I'll _always_ love him. My-my baby. I can't- _no_. He _has_ to be okay, he-he has too! I-I was going to propose. _No_ -" Was the last thing he said before he crashed onto the cold, tile floor.

—♡—

Days passed, and the weather didn't pick up. Cold and rainy, just like it was the day Louis died.

Harry completely shut down, becoming only the shell of the man he once was. He became accustomed to the obnoxious beeping of the heart monitor, and the hush of voices from the hallway. He refused to eat and almost never slept. His eyes stayed trained on the deflating red balloon that hovered in front of his uncomfortable bed.

Seconds, minutes, hours ticked by as he watched the balloon sway lightly to the breeze from the open window. Sometimes, the fluorescent light above would flicker, a telltale sign that the storm outside was the same as the storm within his heart.

His nurse would bring in a tray of food three times a day, but the trays just remained untouched on the small table. His body was being affected by this, and doctors threatened to have him fed through an IV. He did not reply, keeping his eyes focused on the dying balloon.

He felt connected to the sad, red balloon. It was forcibly blown up, shoved into living out its short life in a cramped room in a sad hospital, where it lightly scraped the ceiling until its lungs began to give out, and it slowly watched as its days became numbered. Tick, tock, the clock said, counting away the days the balloon had left. He was the balloon, waiting as his life ticked away. Slowly, slowly sinking until it too touched the floor, refusing to breathe another breath.

On his fifth day within the darkness of his own mind, Louis' family came to visit him. He looked at them silently, a set of puffy red eyes staring back at ones in a similar state.

Jay, Louis' mother, was the first to move forward into the room. She took one look at her late son's lover and burst into another fit of tears. She leaned over the boy and hugged him tightly. Harry sucked in a breath, slowly lifting his arms to wrap them around her. He shut his eyes, allowing a few tears to slip.

"I'm sorry." It was quiet, horse, uncomfortable. It didn't sound like him. His throat burned as he attempted to get out those words, hoping to ease the pain in her heart.

Jay shook her head, hugging him tighter. "You have no reason to apologize, Harry. It is not your fault, it is not your fault." They remained in the embrace for a few more minutes before Lottie and Fizzy, Louis' sisters, came forward to hug Harry as well.

Mark, Louis' step-dad was last. "Thank you for taking care of him." He had said before pulling away. Mark and the girls left soon after, allowing Jay a few minutes alone with Harry.

"Harry, I know Louis would be so upset to see you like this. You need to promise me you will continue to live out your life, continue to find happiness. You know it is what Louis would want. If not for me, or Anne, do it for Louis. Please don't lose yourself because you lost him." She said softly.

Harry blinked away a few tears and turned toward the window, watching as the thin curtain fluttered as a gust of wind took over the room.

She sighed, giving him a soft kiss on the head. "Do it for Louis," She whispered before leaving the room, allowing the man to spiral with his thoughts.

—♡—

As promised, Harry was hooked up to an IV to be given proper nutrients, as he had continued to refuse solid food.

By the 12th day, the sad balloon was removed, picked up off the floor, and sent to its own funeral at the bottom of a trashcan.

Harry had never felt more alone.

—♡—

On the 18th day, Harry was released from the hospital. His mother was told that if Harry refuses to eat, or jeopardizes his own life in any way, to immediately bring him back.

The 24-year-old man was still weak from having spent almost three weeks confined to a bed and was put in a wheelchair for the next few days so that he could slowly regain his strength.

As for his refusal to speak, there was nothing the doctors could do. They hoped that by allowing him back into his own life would open him up again.

It didn't.

This wall that he had spent 18 days building was still holding strong. No matter what Anne, Gemma, and Des tried to do... the man refused to say or do anything.

In his state, his parents thought it was best if Harry stayed with them until he healed mentally and physically.

Louis' funeral was two days after Harry was released. Jay thought it would be best to wait until Harry was able to attend. He deserved a proper goodbye.

The Styles/Twist house lay silent. No one dare spoke a word as Harry was helped into his suit. Dried tears peppered everyone's cheeks, and they couldn't bear listening to Harry sobbing behind the closed bathroom door.

"I want to go to my place first," was the first words the family heard out of Harry in almost three weeks. Anne wanted to deny his request, but Des insisted. Everyone grieves differently.

They drove the man to his apartment, helping him into the elevator and up to the 6th floor. He requested to go in alone, and they allowed him tensely.

Ten minutes passed and Harry rolled out of the tiny flat, nodding his head.

At the funeral, Jay requested Harry say a few words. He was helped up to the podium in his wheelchair by his step-dad. He stayed silent for a few moments, watching Louis' family and loved ones crying in the crowd. He caught eyes with Zayn Malik, Louis' first year of Uni roommate, Becca Poulston, Louis' "favorite" cousin, and Niall Horan, their neighbor.

It hadn't stopped raining in 20 days, showing that the world wasn't as bright anymore without Louis. It showed that Harry wasn't as bright anymore without Louis.

Harry took a deep breath and shakily lifted himself out of the wheelchair. A few in the crowd gasped, and Anne rose to go help him. He shook his head, slowly limping toward the closed casket.

With a heavy heart, he reached into his pocket, pulling out a small black box, placing it gently on top of the wood. "Will you marry me, Louis Tomlinson?" He whispered. He choked out a sob and fell to the ground. A few of the attendants rushed to help Harry up and back into his wheelchair as Jay cried, seeing the ring box on her son's casket. "Why did you leave me?" Harry cried. "Why did you leave me? You were supposed to marry me first!" He screamed, pushing away the people around him. "Come back," he whimpered, "please baby."

Jay ran over and leaned down to hug Harry. "I'm so sorry," She whispered, "He loved you so much, I just know he's up there screaming "yes" right now."

—♡—

After the funeral, Harry put on a brave face, showing his family he can function just fine on his own.

_Louis always said he should be an actor._

Once he was allowed out of the wheelchair, and after proving to his mother he could go to physical therapy for his leg, she allowed him to leave her home and go back to his own.

His bill of good health was soon crumbled up in a trash can as Harry began to make frequent trips to a local liquor store. He took one final visit to his and Louis' shared apartment and grabbed a few necessities before locking the door for the last time.

For the next two months, the man floated between a shitty motel and the back seat of his car, slowly drinking his money and life away.

He wishes he died when the balloon did.

He could feel his time ticking away slowly, his life leaving his body with every second.

He ignored all calls from his family and PT, completely shutting himself away once more. They were fools to believe he would ever be the same again. His one and only died saving his life, how is he ever supposed to go on living?

He's drowning.

" _Hi_ _ya!_ _It's Louis, I can't come to the phone right now_ _'cause_ _I'm out living my life! Leave a message, bye-bye!_ " Followed by the loud beep that echoed through his ears. Harry hung up, immediately calling the number again, just to hear Louis' beautiful voice.

Harry crawled out of his car, grabbing the last few dollars he had from the front console, and making his way toward the nearest liquor store. To be honest, he had no idea where he was. A few days ago he just started his car and drove until he ran out of gas, so now he was in a random town he didn't even know the name of, living a life he wished would end.

He finished off the bottle of vodka he was holding, tossing it into a small trashcan as he stumbled to the crosswalk, looking up at the sky as it began to rain. He sighed, letting a few tears leave his eyes. When he lowered his head was when he saw him. Short with fluffy caramel brown hair, clad in a tracksuit as he sipped on a Starbucks cup.

Louis.

He quickly ran across the street, stumbling right into the man. "Oh my god, Louis, it's you! My baby, you're alive, I missed you so, so much!" Harry cried, wrapping his arms around his lover.

The man coughed awkwardly, shoving Harry away. "Uh, I think you have the wrong person, mate," said the man with confusion laced in his voice. "Sorry."

Harry looked up, letting out a whimper when he saw the man's face. Thick eyebrows, brown eyes, no button nose. It was all wrong, he was all wrong. "S-sorry."

The man quickly walked away, glancing over his shoulder once more before disappearing around the corner.

Harry let out a sob. "No, no, no," he cried before his vision went blurry and he collapsed, alerting passerby who quickly came running to the drunken man's rescue.

—♡—

"Hey... wake up... wake up," He heard and groaned. He attempted to roll over, but he was restricted.

"C'mon, up!" Says the voice above him. Soft, sweet... like sugar. Raspy, yet high. Like a warm gust of wind. Like happiness. "Hazza?" Like _Louis_.

Harry's eyes shot open and he leaned up quickly, immediately getting pulled back down by the taunt seatbelt. He was in the car... Louis' car. And there was Louis, his Louis. All beautiful and soft with wide blue eyes and a small pout. "Morning, sleepyhead. We are at your mum's."

Tears left his eyes like a flood as he began to cry. Harry struggled to remove the seatbelt at rocket speed, pulling Louis into his arms and hugging him tightly. "My _baby_ ," He croaked.

Louis gasped softly, taken aback by the sudden gesture. He thought Harry was going to be pissed at him, not hugging him like his life depended on it. He sighed, allowing his fear of another fight to wash away as he hugged his boyfriend back, rubbing his back softly. "Hi, love." He whispered into Harry's neck. "I'm sorry," the words came out slightly broken. "I...I hate fighting with you, so much. I-I promise I'll look for a job or something... I need to stop using uni as an excuse to be a lazy prick all the time. You do so much for me, Hazza, I'm so sorry. I promise I'll be a better boyfriend." He rambled. He didn't want to fight with Harry, especially before Anne's birthday party.

"No, no, no," Harry babbled, practically pulling Louis into his lap in the car. "I thought I lost you," he sobbed. "I'm so sorry, my baby, I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you. I hope to God this isn't a dream right now because I need you to survive and I don't want to wake up and you not be there. I need you, I need you to live. I can't go on without you in my life, please don't leave me. I love you... I love you more than life itself, please don't ever leave me again. I can't fucking live without you, Lou."

If Louis wasn't confused before, he definitely was now. "What are you talking about, darling?"

"You're here," Harry continued. "You're here, you're alive, my baby. I'm so sorry, I don't ever want to fight with you again, I don't ever want it to be the last words you hear from me."

"Of course I'm alive, Harry," Louis chuckled lightly, wiping away Harry's tears.

Harry shook his head, pulling Louis as close as he physically could. "I'm never letting you go."

"Well, you gotta, my love. It's your mum's birthday, we need to go inside."

"No, no, no. If I let you go, I'm going to wake up and you are going to be gone again. I can't go on without you, Louis, I can't. I told your mum I would try but I just fucking _can't._ "

Louis sighed, pulling away to take Harry's face in his hands, gently placing a kiss on his pouted lips. "Now, Hazza, please tell me what you are talking about."

It took a bit more coaxing and a few more kisses before Harry began to explain everything that happens, from the argument to him passing out on the street. "Three months, three months without you, baby, please don't go, I need you."

"Hazza... you fell asleep in the car, is all." Louis said softly, kissing Harry's wet cheek. "Please, stop crying, my love. It was just a dream, I'm right here, I promise."

Even after hearing those words, Harry's tears wouldn't stop. His throat burned from his cries, and he could almost taste the alcohol. How could it be a dream when it felt so real? Losing Louis... felt so real. He could feel the wind, he could smell the cold, he could hear the heart monitor.

He thought he lost his home, but his home still had a heartbeat.

"Marry me, Louis. Marry me."

Louis gently brushed his thumb on Harry's cheek, looking up to meet his eyes. His lips parted in shock and he blinked. "What?"

"The ring... I have one. I had a big romantic proposal planned but I can't wait anymore. I can't risk you leaving my life without being mine. Please, for the love of God, Louis Tomlinson, please be mine. Marry me, Lou, please."

Louis laughed wetly as he began to cry. He sniffled, taking Harry's hand and rubbing his knuckles. He was silent for a moment, watching as their hands intertwined. "I've always been yours." He whispered, looking up at his boyfriend. "Of course I'll marry you, Harry."

They remained cramped in the passenger seat of Louis' car for a few minutes as they cried in each other's arms.

"Hey! What are you lovesick idiots doing?" Gemma called from the front porch of Anne and Des' house.

Louis laughed in Harry's shoulder, pulling away slightly to call out to her. "Be in in a minute, Gems!" he assured before turning to look at Harry. "Let's go, loverboy," he smiled at his beau.

Harry sighed, slowly allowing his arms to fall to his sides. He watched as Louis stood up and he sucked in a breath, waiting to wake up on the corner of a random street, but he didn't. He shut his eyes and then slowly opened them, looking up to see his Louis still in front of him, offering his hand. "I'm here, love," said the older, smiling sweetly. Harry grabbed onto his hand, allowing Louis to pull him out of the car. The second his feet hit the pavement, he pulled Louis into a hug.

"My baby," He whispered, kissing his exposed shoulder. "Never leave me again."

"Can't promise that."

"Why not?" Harry said, pulling back to look at Louis, who was still smiling at him.

"Cause I'd die for you, Harry. I'd die for you one thousand times if it meant you could live another day."

And above them, the sun peeked around the clouds, lighting up the sky. The world was bright... because Louis was still in it.

—♡—

_Never go to sleep angry, because you never know if you or the person you're mad at will wake up the next morning._


End file.
